indulgence and perspective

As if having someone cook a delicious meal every day for you isn’t enough, i had an ayurvedic massage to ease the soreness and exhaustion of the past few days of backbending.

after another fully packed hour with Gulnaaz i understood the nature of UPwARD facing dog Urdvha Mukha Svasana which answered a burning question i’ve had about my Sirsasana- now solved and a lesson in holding off from asking your questions because the answers will come if you wait. And that palms down in Dandasana is the secret to many many things. She gets in there, wastes no time, opens what is closed, extends what is short. It’s a good analogy for life– if there is a problem don’t analyze, whine, complain, just, face it, deal with it and fix it. Bam. I asked her about the hip i’m working on that is quite painful. “It’s the work you have to do.” So simple. So true.

You know that famous Japanese movie where everyone has a different perspective on the same event? My first year here like so many others I came up against a lot. I don’t know how to stay it elsewise. it was a class , i believe Prashant’s where we change positions quickly and there are people pushing and ropes swinging and it’s just overwhelming at first. I wasn’t doing something right and this woman corrected me very sharply or at least I thought she was scowling right at me. I was afraid of her. I thought it was she absolutely hated me. My first year, I was having a hard time finding my footing. Others told me she was the sweetest thing. My second year, I think I steered clear. This year, she offers homemade sweets to all and when I complimented my friends top she said “i’l get you one.” Me?, I said to myself, impossible. Today, she handed me a bag with a kurta, leggings and scarf and said ( I can’t remember it exactly) to pay her would be a cut to her heart. I gave her a huge hug. I would venture to say that she has always been this kind.

Joaquin has arrived in Delhi and tomorrow he is on his journey to Vrindavan. It is like dropping into some amplified modern improvised jazz piece and it takes awhile to settle in and figure out a rhythm to follow or give up finding a melody. I don’t see him for a week and it now our plan seems so silly but I know it will be fine in the end. Just missing him and frustrated that without a cell phone or internet communication is sparse. I have to control what i call my grandma mind that has him in all sorts of terrible situations in Delhi- this grandma mind is very very imaginative.

Hope he can settle down and appreciate this crazy wonderful place that feels in a weird way like a home to me.

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