Finding kindness and no internal confusion. 

  Many of you know that Prashant has his own way of expressing himself using words like breathicate, embodiment, body addressals, internal connectivity, udiyanic,… You have to get used to it and it starts to make sense. I have struggled, I struggle and English is my language. I’ve been spending some time with a young woman from Russia who barely speaks English. I am amazed at her because she works everyday to improve her English and tells me she does understand Prashant. How? She doesn’t even know why. We are all amazed that she is understanding. It goes to show you that communication goes beyond words. 

I think of myself struggling to understand Spanish and not being able to follow or making mistakes. I’m patient with her even if at times when I think she understands and then there is a misunderstanding. Or I can’t figure out how to simplify what I’m trying to express so that she can get it. It takes patience. I’ve been in her shoes and appreciate those few who have been patient with me 

At dinner with friends, we shared stories of random acts of kindness. The man who overwheard Colleen trying to locate a restaurant that looked like was under construction and personally guided us towards the entrance. The young kid who came to help me as I argued with the rickshaw driver who claimed he had no change. And my friend Cindy who stepped on glass in the middle of a very busy road and was immediately helped by a young woman who said, ” I just graduated from medical school,” ran to the pharmacy, bought all the first aid necessities and cleaned up the wound and refused reimbursement for anything.  

The other day Suneeta rocked us with a backbending class that culminated in my goal- dropping back to Urdhva Dhanurasana. Demeter and I worked together. She reminded me so much of an old friend when the month began. At the end we were there helping each other go backwards. The following day we talked about poses that challenge us, that create obstables. When they come easy there is nothing to learn. I dropped back at the start of 2015 and then I couldn’t do it again. I was kamikazing myself into the pose. This energy is  helpful to unblock blockages and move through fear. But this kamikaze approach is not very refined. I was so frustrated that I couldn’t do it anymore. Demeter flipped my point of view. It is exactly the inability that gives you the gift of learning.  The next time we practiced, I had to work with the fear and figure out how to move through it physically, mentally and using breath until I floated backwards with just the gentle support of a friend. 

Next was mandalasana. Suneeta had earlier impressed upon us the importance of internal clarity- knowing the difference between right and left in any orientation. I later found her and told her I was doubly challenged with cars and crossing the road as it is on the “wrong” side. I meant it humorously. She took a long pause and said with the utmost importance that my example  was an external confusion but at this stage of practice there must be no internal confusion. None. Now, why we do inversions with variations takes on a whole new meaning of importance. Upside down and turning, flipping over myself really jostled up my internal clarity.  Utter confusion. I had no idea where I was! But with practice that internal confusion will become clarity.